Attractive . . .

There was this big shift in the late 90's.  See, we'd just done grunge, anything goes, just be yourself, accept people for who they are and then, all of the sudden, here comes Brittney Spears with her bubble gum pop, mini skirts, and bleached hair and BAM!  You've gotta be who you are BUT be physically attractive. 
I remember all of the sudden people worried more about hair, make up, and the plastic surgery industry went BANANAS. 
I also remember that all of the sudden when LDS people were talking about dating, they always summed it up with, "but the other person should be reasonably attractive.  I mean, you can't multiply and replenish the earth if you just don't think the other person is attractive." 

This is STUPID.  Its a clear example of letting the "world" dictate your behavior. 
 "b b b b b b b BUT!" 
NO.  Its stupid. 

Ok, I'll prove it.  Think back to when you were a little kid.  Who was the most beautiful woman in the world?  Your mom.  Event the Disney princesses took a back seat to mommy.  Who was the most handsome?  Dad. 

No, I'm not going to get all Freud here.  I think there's a real reason.  You thought your parents were BEAUTIFUL people.  Why?  Because you loved them.  You loved them completely.  They could yell at you and make you mad and not buy you candy and you woke up the next day and loved them.  Now that I have kids, I totally see this in action.  There is nobody my kids love more than Mom and Dad no matter how imperfect we are. 
Flip side - every mom and dad thinks their children are BEAUTIFUL.  I've seen some of those kids with the super proud parents on Toddlers and Tiaras and been like, ummm . . . . . yeah.  Admit it, we've all seen ugly babies with doting parents and grandparents. 
So, what has that got to do with finding people attractive? 

If you love someone, there's a good chance, you'll find them attractive.  NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.  If you find them attractive first, there's a good chance you're experiencing lust, not love. 

I'm not saying you can't date attractive people, I'm just saying you can't decide whether someone is attractive or not before you get to know them pretty well. 

I was talking to someone about this and explained that the way people look changes over time . . . . you gain weight, you lose weight, you have babies (hello, stretch marks and loose skin on my tummy!), you get wrinkles, grey hair, dudes sprout chest hair, and nose hair . . . . it happens.  And if you are shallow and went for looks first, rather than love, you will be one unhappy couple. 

Also, this seems to be a problem more widespread among the ladies.  On the whole, guys seem less caught up in this.  I've seen guys date lots of not super cute girls.  They like those girls because they're nice and fun and hey, maybe they are cute after all.  (That's how it works!) 
Girls will refuse to even TALK to a boy they deem unattractive so they don't "lead him on".  Jerks.  Really!  And when they talk about boys, its always about how they LOOK.  This makes for grouchy jaded boys who don't even bother to ask girls out.  This is pretty much our fault, girls. 

BUT, I sympathize with you ladies because we were RAISED this way.  (Stupid Disney princesses!)  I mean, we're not just worried about what the guys look like . . . we're always beating the crap out of ourselves over a blemish, smudged makeup, hair color, uneven tan, wrong bra size . . . we don't discriminate . . . we critique ourselves the worst and then move on to everyone else. 
I'll let you in on something I very recently figured out . . . I didn't meet my husband until I knocked that off.  I had to make a conscious decision to stop.  And I wasn't perfect at it, but I tried.  I took care of myself, but stayed too busy to be constantly worried about how I (and everyone else) looked.  And I married myself someone who I find very attractive . . . but it wasn't like I was squealing, "He's so hot!" when I met him. 

So, long winded post, but I'm putting it out there!  Do you agree?  Disagree?  Anyone care to experiment with letting go of the superficial business and letting us know if it impacts YOUR love life?