Really? REALLY?

I hear a lot of guys say that they wish girls would be more self confident.  That confidence is what really lets someone's beauty shine through.  To a certain extent, I agree.  I know for me, I was always more successful in dating, and really life in general, when I wasn't totally wrapped up in worrying about all my physical flaws. 
This self esteem/self worth/confidence thing can be tough in our superficial, over sexed, youth obsessed society.  Its hard for guys and even worse for girls.  It is tough not to let the world and the general standard of beauty beat the crap out of you, quite frankly!







So I always appreciate it when a guy can honestly say he values confidence more than any specific beauty trait.
Flip side, I'm always enraged when they go ahead and let the natural man take over in dating. Now, guys, don't think I'm picking on you . . . check out this post where I get after the girls pretty good: http://ldsinstituteofdating.blogspot.com/2011/08/attractive.html 
I mean, if confidence is attractive, aren't you kind of killing off your selection of eligable, datable girls if you tear them apart?!?
Here's what prompted this tirade . . . .

Weeks ago, a guy from our (me and the hub's) old singles ward posted on facebook that he really wanted to start dating again and was anyone willing to set him up?  My hubby enjoys matchmaking, so he decided to set him up with one of my sister's old friends.  He's 32, she's in her mid 20's, he's waiting for a career to take off, so is she, both have a tough time finding people to date because they're a little shy . . . why not?  So we gave him her number.  They've spoken on the phone quite a few times and he was having a hard time getting up the nerve to ask her out.  Then my hubby gets a text from the guy: 
"Hey man, what does this girl look like?" 
"Haven't you been out with her?" 
"No, not yet.  What does she look like?  Is she pretty?  What does she weigh?" 
I am now stomping around cleaning things.  (I clean when I'm mad . . . my hubby should tick me off WAY more often . . . my house is kinda messy.) 
"Dude, that's not cool to ask." 
"I'm just wondering." 
"She's just fine.  Do you think I'd set you up with someone who doesn't take care of themselves at all?  C'mon man.  Anyway, its a BLIND date.  That's what it means.  You don't get to know what she looks like." 
No more texts.  Big kisses for hubby who handled it pretty well. 

A few weeks later: 
"Hey man, so tell me about this girl?" 
"I thought you were calling her and stuff." 
"I am, but we still haven't met up.  What does she look like?" 
"You know how to use facebook." 
A few minutes later . . .
"Dude, you know I'm like, 125 lbs, right?"
"Yeah.  Why are you telling me that?" 
"Well, she looks kind of bigger." 
"What?  Who cares!  I thought you were talking to her and liked her." 
"Yeah." 
"Then who cares?"
"Well, I still think I'd rather have a skinny girl." 
Hubby throws phone and stomps around cleaning things.  (I was a picky girl and I picked me a good one!) 

I holler, "Well, maybe she'd rather not date a BALDING MIDGET!" as I loudly load the dishwasher. (The guy is pretty short and sparse.  This was mean to say, but he couldn't hear me.  There is NOTHING WRONG with short people (I am one!) or bald people (I'm related to a lot of bald people.)) 
I mean, this girl isn't a supermodel, but she isn't in terrible shape . . . she's clearly taking care of herself and within a reasonably healthy weight range and even if she wasn't, WHY DOES IT MATTER!?!?
I holler, "You'd better never get anyone pregnant then!" as I chuck mega blocks into the bin.  (Pregnancy isn't always pretty.) 

Here's the thing. 
Ya'll need to quit being superficial on BOTH sides.  Let it go.  Personality, compatability, sense of humor, spirituality, quirks, these things last.  Your looks don't.  Everyone has physical flaws.  Everyone ages, everyone changes.  People are more than bodies.